4 Years

for

4 years

I have been

on this study,

to find a way to

slow down or

stop

The MonSter

called MS.

Every 3 months,

I visit my clinic

family,

some used to be my

coworkers,

on the neuro floor,

years ago,

soon to be

30 Years

ago.

It does not seem like

4 years,

or 30 years,

I feel little difference

in who I am.

The protein soup

or placebo,

is what

I ingest

parenterally,

through subcutaneous

or intramuscular

means using

sharp hollow needles,

(much better than the

bigger ones of 30 years ago).

It is thought

that perhaps it is a decoy for my

immune system,

but the bottom line you get,

they just do not know if it works,

or why.

Still, today,

in clinic

I felt like Hill

was sitting somewhere near me,

somehow in his afterlife,

was he still second guessing

his studies?

And I gave him a silent tribute,

all to myself,

thinking,

I loved that Doctor

and his ways

of looking at you

and listening...

so rare.

And when Angie came bouncing into the room,

Hill's Protege,

the right person to take his place,

I silently thanked Hill

for picking her,

for making this wonderful clinic,

for his brave bold studies,

and for his succession plans.

I never called him Hill,

but his friends did,

and after taking his study meds

for 4 years,

just thought I would get informal,

 like I worked there again.

I really felt his presence this time,

and as I laughed with Angie

and the other staff,

I think I saw him smile again.