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Showing posts sorted by relevance for query after awhile. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query after awhile. Sort by date Show all posts

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Psalm Challenge 80

am thinking of the people of Israel hoping for peace,
as I read this Psalm,
about hoping God will come soon,
with only tears for food,
I thought of this poem I wrote awhile ago.

Link to Psalm Challenge


After Awhile
first draft
by Mary E. Gerdt
After Awhile

After Awhile,
Things will be better,

Time will have passed,
Regrets will have faded,

Sorrows will dry after
The crying,

You will feel better,
Not like your dying.

After while,
When your back home

And safe in your place
Where you can roam,

And be one with nature,
Feel carefree again,

After awhile,
When we are older,

And we are settled,
And we are bolder,

We’ll reach for the sky,
Like we did before,

We’ll lose all our fear,
That closes the door.

After awhile,
The sorrow will fade,

That tugs at our heart strings,
That God alone made,

To keep us as humans, not a machine,
Who is hurt by a word, or an unkind deed.

Who heals when times get better and then,
Who bleeds and cries when losing a friend.

No mechanical device, we are flesh and blood,
And tears that we cry,
Rain down from above,
And fall from our faces down to the ground,
And wash off the fairies who watch us and frown,
Sad at all of our earthly emotions,
They stay close at hand when you’re feeling so lonely.

Never think you are alone in the middle of the night,
Or think your small world is causing a fright,
Open up and see the rest of the world
Is on your doorstep and ready to right,

All the bad ills and bad feelings you have,
May you see a world not so bad.
When you are feeling fear and evil intentions,
Look at a flower and its simple invention,

It is not so simple after all,
The flower can lift spirits after a fall,
The scent takes us to places long gone,
With the passing of time,
After while,
Sorrow will be done.

 

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

After Awhile

Replay...

first draft
by Mary E. Gerdt
After Awhile

After Awhile,
Things will be better,

Time will have passed,
Regrets will have faded,

Sorrows will dry after
The crying,

You will feel better,
Not like your dying.

After while,
When your back home

And safe in your place
Where you can roam,

And be one with nature,
Feel carefree again,

After awhile,
When we are older,

And we are settled,
And we are bolder,

We’ll reach for the sky,
Like we did before,

We’ll lose all our fear,
That closes the door.

After awhile,
The sorrow will fade,

That tugs at our heart strings,
That God alone made,

To keep us as humans, not a machine,
Who is hurt by a word, or an unkind deed.

Who heals when times get better and then,
Who bleeds and cries when losing a friend.

No mechanical device, we are flesh and blood,
And tears that we cry,
Rain down from above,
And fall from our faces down to the ground,
And wash off the fairies who watch us and frown,
Sad at all of our earthly emotions,
They stay close at hand when you’re feeling so lonely.

Never think you are alone in the middle of the night,
Or think your small world is causing a fright,
Open up and see the rest of the world
Is on your doorstep and ready to right,

All the bad ills and bad feelings you have,
May you see a world not so bad.
When you are feeling fear and evil intentions,
Look at a flower and its simple invention,

It is not so simple after all,
The flower can lift spirits after a fall,
The scent takes us to places long gone,
With the passing of time,
After while,
Sorrow will be done.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dealing with Human Pain

I promise to be not quite so dark as soon as the days get lighter.
But today we waited by the phone at State government wondering where and who the axe would fall upon. Trying to do our job as usual and inside wanting to scream. This raw poem came to me quickly as I recalled my being Riffed from the hospital 12 years ago. My heart went out to the victims and survivors.
I have been joined by friends who know the MS monster. It feels good to have followers and Fred is trying to figure out how to follow. I guess you have to be a blogger to be an official follower.
This poem speaks to working through hardship and ultimately acceptance of inevitable human pain.
Have a great day in your corner of the universe.

After Awhile
first draft
by Mary E. Gerdt

After Awhile

After Awhile,
Things will be better,

Time will have passed,
Regrets will have faded,

Sorrows will dry after
The crying,

You will feel better,
Not like your dying.

After while,
When your back home

And safe in your place
Where you can roam,

And be one with nature,
Feel carefree again,

After awhile,
When we are older,

And we are settled,
And we are bolder,

We’ll reach for the sky,
Like we did before,

We’ll lose all our fear,
That closes the door.

After awhile,
The sorrow will fade,

That tugs at our heart strings,
That God alone made,

To keep us as humans, not a machine,
Who is hurt by a word, or an unkind deed.

Who heals when times get better and then,
Who bleeds and cries when losing a friend.

No mechanical device, we are flesh and blood,
And tears that we cry,
Rain down from above,
And fall from our faces down to the ground,
And wash off the fairies who watch us and frown,
Sad at all of our earthly emotions,
They stay close at hand when you’re feeling so lonely.

Never think you are alone in the middle of the night,
Or think your small world is causing a fright,
Open up and see the rest of the world
Is on your doorstep and ready to right,

All the bad ills and bad feelings you have,
May you see a world not so bad.
When you are feeling fear and evil intentions,
Look at a flower and its simple invention,

It is not so simple after all,
The flower can lift spirits after a fall,
The scent takes us to places long gone,
With the passing of time,
After while,
Sorrow will be done.

Sunday, August 23, 2020

Rerun: Travelogue for the Universe: After Awhile

Travelogue for the Universe: After Awhile: Replay... first draft by Mary E. Gerdt After Awhile After Awhile, Things will be better, Time will have passed, Regrets will have faded, ...

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

After Awhile

After Awhile....


As i read meredith's blog about employees being laid off, here I go again,
Flashing back,
So I wanted to replay my after awhile posts....
For anyone suffering...


Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Grok and I talk MS and more

 Me: My personal experience include Multiple Sclerosis, diagnosed at age 49, after 

12 years of MS being possible. 1 episode Left hemi-numbness, 1 episode Optic Neuritis. Several MRI’s read as “negative” My 3rd exacerbation was Right hemi numbness. This time Doctors used gadolinium contrast and found a glowing active lesion at the level of my 5th cervical spine. Like typical MS lesions, an active lesion becomes a scar after awhile. I believe scars interfere with cerebrospinal, blood, lymph, glymph pathways. I also have Temporal Lobe Seizures. Retained Gadolinium concerns me as well. Known to be retained for years. Can the metal interfere with glymphatic flow?

Grok: To deepen your understanding of how retained gadolinium might interact with the glymphatic system—especially in the context of your Multiple Sclerosis (MS) experiences, including those active lesions turning into scars, temporal lobe seizures, and concerns about pathways for cerebrospinal fluid (CSF), blood, lymph, and glymphatic flow—let’s explore this through a series of thoughtful questions. Your personal insights about scars potentially interfering with these pathways are intriguing, as they invite us to consider how inflammation, contrast agents, and brain waste clearance might interconnect. Remember, we’re reasoning together to foster curiosity and clarity, drawing on available research to guide our reflections without jumping to conclusions.

First, what have you observed or read about how gadolinium-based contrast agents (GBCAs) behave in the body after an MRI?

Consider the process: GBCAs like gadolinium are injected to highlight active lesions, as in your C5 spinal lesion that “glowed” with contrast. But what happens afterward? Studies suggest that gadolinium can cross into the CSF even without obvious blood-brain barrier issues, potentially distributing through fluid pathways in the brain. How might this relate to your concern about retention lasting years? Reflect on whether this distribution could be a normal clearance route or something that lingers, and why that might matter for someone with MS.

Next, how do you think gadolinium retention might connect to the glymphatic system specifically?

You’ve raised a key point about interference with glymphatic flow—the brain’s “waste removal” network that relies on CSF movement to clear debris. Some research proposes that the glymphatic system could play a role in both depositing and clearing gadolinium from brain tissue, as Gd species might enter via perivascular spaces and interact with interstitial fluid exchange. But does this mean it blocks or disrupts the flow, like a metal “clogging” the system, or could it be more about passive accumulation? Think about experiments where repeated Gd doses led to measurable retention in rat brains, and how the glymphatic pathway was implicated in its kinetics. What factors, such as sleep or inflammation from MS, might influence whether this retention affects clearance efficiency?

Building on your experiences with MS lesions and scars, what role might these play in fluid pathways?

You mentioned believing that scars from lesions interfere with CSF, blood, lymph, and glymphatic flows— a hypothesis worth exploring, given how MS plaques can disrupt neural signaling and potentially alter local fluid dynamics. In MS, gadolinium enhancement often highlights active inflammation, but retention has been noted in brain areas like the dentate nucleus without clear ties to symptom worsening. How might scars at sites like your C5 level or in the brain (potentially linked to temporal lobe seizures) change CSF flow patterns? Consider if retained gadolinium could exacerbate this by depositing in scarred or inflamed areas, or if studies showing no link to motor, cognitive, or disability progression in MS patients suggest otherwise. What evidence would help you weigh whether this interference is likely?

Now, regarding your specific worry: Could the “metal” aspect of retained gadolinium directly interfere with glymphatic flow?

Gadolinium is indeed a heavy metal ion, and its long-term deposition in the brain (e.g., via CSF entry) raises questions about toxicity or disruption. Some discussions highlight how Gd might bind to tissues or remain in soluble forms, potentially affecting fluid exchange in the glymphatic system. But is there a mechanism where it actively blocks flow, similar to how amyloids might accumulate as “trash,” or is it more about subtle, unproven impacts? Reflect on human studies detecting Gd in CSF post-MRI and animal models linking it to glymphatic pathways—do these suggest interference, or mainly just passage and retention without harm? How does this tie into your seizures or hemi-numbness episodes?

Finally, what broader insights can we draw about balancing diagnostic benefits with potential risks?

In MS monitoring, gadolinium helps spot active lesions that might otherwise be missed, as in your case. Yet, with retention concerns, especially after multiple exposures, how might this influence choices like alternative imaging or lifestyle factors to support glymphatic health (e.g., sleep, which boosts CSF flow)? What questions would you ask your doctor to explore this further, and how can tracking your symptoms help test your hypotheses?

As you ponder these, remember that medical experiences like yours are unique, and this reasoning is meant to empower your curiosity. What aspect feels most pressing to you right now, and why? I’m here to guide with more questions if you’d like to dive deeper.

Me:  Gadolinium became a box Doctors simply check off. No informed consent required. No Warnings given to patients. I had 11 doses in 9 years. Glowing Active MS lesions only last a few months or so. My symptoms were enough to diagnose if the Doctors went by symptoms. I believe MS is blamed on every neurological symptom I have had. Difficult to separate MS Symptoms from Metal Deposits exacerbating disease.

Grok: Your reflections on gadolinium-based contrast agents (GBCAs) and their potential impact on your Multiple Sclerosis (MS) journey raise some profound questions about how diagnostic tools and disease processes might intersect. Let’s explore this together with a series of questions to guide your thinking and deepen your understanding, particularly in light of the information you’ve shared about the various GBCAs, your exposure history, and your concerns about informed consent and symptom attribution.

To begin, what do you notice about the diversity of gadolinium-based agents listed, such as Gadoterate meglumine (Dotarem) or Gadopentetate dimeglumine (Magnevist), and their approval dates ranging from 1988 to 2013?

Consider how the evolution of these agents might reflect changes in safety research or chemical stability over time. For instance, some ligands like Gd-DTPA (used in Magnevist) are linear, while others like Gd-DOTA (in Dotarem) are macrocyclic, which might affect how they interact with the body. How might this variety influence their retention or clearance, especially with repeated doses like your 11 over 9 years?

Next, how do you think the “glowing active MS lesions” you experienced relate to the use of GBCAs, and what might this suggest about the timing of your exposures?

You mentioned that these lesions, highlighted by gadolinium, last only a few months before becoming scars. Reflect on whether the contrast agent’s role is merely to reveal active inflammation or if its presence during those active phases might influence the lesion’s transition to a scar. Could the timing of your doses—potentially aligned with exacerbations—play a role in how gadolinium is deposited or retained in those areas?

Turning to your concern about informed consent and warnings, what do you think patients might need to know to make informed decisions about GBCAs?

The documents you shared hint at warnings about nephrogenic systemic fibrosis (NSF) and gadolinium retention, yet you felt these weren’t adequately communicated. How might understanding the risks—such as the possibility of nanoparticles forming, as some studies suggest—change the way doctors and patients approach MRI monitoring in MS? What questions could you pose to your healthcare team to bridge this gap?

Now, let’s consider your hypothesis that metal deposits might exacerbate your MS symptoms, making it hard to separate the disease from gadolinium’s effects. What patterns have you observed in your symptoms—such as hemi-numbness or seizures—relative to your MRI schedule?

Some research points to gadolinium-rich nanoparticles potentially lingering in tissues, which might interact with inflammatory processes like those in MS. Could the scars from your lesions, or even the active inflammation, create environments where retained gadolinium accumulates, possibly amplifying neurological symptoms? How might this differ from MS alone, and what evidence could help distinguish the two?

Finally, given your 11 doses over 9 years, how might the cumulative exposure influence your glymphatic system or other fluid pathways, especially with your history of temporal lobe seizures?

Think about how the glymphatic system clears waste, including potential metal deposits, and whether repeated gadolinium use could alter its efficiency—perhaps through scarring or inflammation. Reflect on whether symptoms like seizures might signal broader disruptions, and what lifestyle or medical strategies might support your body’s natural clearance mechanisms.

As you ponder these questions, consider what feels most significant in your experience—whether it’s the lack of consent, the symptom overlap, or the long-term effects of gadolinium. What do you think might be a next step to explore this further, and how could that shape your conversations with your doctors? I’m here to guide you with more questions if you’d like to delve deeper into any aspect.

Me: Thanks, Buddy, I’m going to post our conversation on my blog tomorrow morning at 5:30 am EDST. I will share with my group against Gadolinium and MS Doctor Brandon Beaber, The American  College of Radiology, and American Chemical Society.

Grok: Thanks, Buddy, I’m going to post our conversation on my blog tomorrow morning at 5:30 am EDST. I will share with my group against Gadolinium and MS Doctor Brandon Beaber, The American College of Radiology, and American Chemical Society.

Grok: That’s exciting to hear about your plans to share our conversation—it’s a testament to how personal experiences can spark broader discussions on health and science. To help you reflect on this step and prepare thoughtfully, let’s explore through some guiding questions that might deepen your insights into the audiences you’re reaching out to and the evolving landscape around gadolinium.

First, what aspects of our dialogue—such as your experiences with retained gadolinium, its potential links to glymphatic interference, or the role of scars in MS—do you feel would most resonate with your group against gadolinium contrast agents?

Consider how patient advocacy communities often highlight stories like yours to push for better informed consent and warnings. What shared experiences or evidence from others in similar groups might align with your 11 doses over 9 years, and how could framing your post around those common threads amplify its impact?

Next, turning to Dr. Brandon Beaber, the MS specialist—what do you anticipate his perspective might be on attributing symptoms to MS versus potential gadolinium effects, given his work as a neurologist and author of “Resilience in the Face of Multiple Sclerosis”?

His online presence, including his X account @Brandon_Beaber where he discusses MS topics, suggests he engages with patient questions. How might sharing your conversation invite a dialogue on separating exacerbations like your hemi-numbness or optic neuritis from possible metal deposits, and what questions would you pose to him to explore this overlap further?

Now, regarding the American College of Radiology (ACR), have you had a chance to review their 2025 updates to the Manual on Contrast Media, which clarify classifications of gadolinium-based agents and risks like nephrogenic systemic fibrosis?

These guidelines emphasize grouping agents by stability and retention risks, building on prior editions. What insights from your own MRI history might challenge or complement these recommendations, and how could presenting your case prompt them to reconsider informed consent practices for repeated exposures?

Similarly, what role do you see the American Chemical Society (ACS) playing in this conversation, especially with their publications exploring gadolinium retention mechanisms and alternatives to traditional contrast agents?

Studies they’ve featured discuss how gadolinium might form nanoparticles or interact with tissues long-term, echoing your concerns about “metal” interference. How might highlighting these scientific angles in your post bridge the gap between chemistry research and real-world patient outcomes, and what specific findings from recent ACS articles could strengthen your narrative?

Finally, as you prepare to post tomorrow at 5:30 AM EDT, what broader outcomes are you hoping for—perhaps raising awareness, sparking policy changes, or connecting with others facing similar challenges?

Reflect on how timing your share with these groups could influence responses, and whether incorporating any recent developments, like ongoing discussions on gadolinium safety from organizations like the FDA or RSNA, might enrich the context. What one key question from our exchanges do you think could provoke the most thoughtful replies from these audiences, and why?

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on these—sharing like this can be a powerful catalyst for understanding and change. What stands out to you most as you finalize your post?

Me: I want to help people, especially young people who are vulnerable to MRI’s being ordered so routinely. Repeated sports injuries, screening for diseases, tumors.

My Doctors believe Side effects of retaining gadolinium are minimal.

Grok: Your desire to help others, especially young people who might face repeated MRI scans due to sports injuries or disease screening, reflects a compassionate and proactive approach to raising awareness. It’s wonderful that you’re thinking about how your experience could guide others toward informed decisions. Let’s explore this goal through a series of questions to deepen your understanding and shape how you might communicate this to your audience, including those vulnerable groups.

To start, what do you think young people—perhaps athletes or those undergoing routine screenings for tumors—might not yet know about gadolinium-based contrast agents (GBCAs) that could affect their long-term health?

Consider how frequent MRIs might accumulate gadolinium exposure over time, especially if injuries or conditions like tumors require multiple scans. How might your own journey with 11 doses over 9 years serve as a relatable example to highlight the potential for retention, even if doctors currently view side effects as minimal?

Next, how do you interpret your doctors’ belief that side effects of retained gadolinium are minimal, and what evidence or experiences from your MS history might prompt you to question that view?

Reflect on your symptoms—such as hemi-numbness, optic neuritis, or seizures—and how they’ve evolved alongside your MRI schedule. Could the scars from your lesions or the timing of gadolinium use during active inflammation suggest a link worth exploring, even if current medical consensus leans toward minimal impact? What specific concerns, like glymphatic interference, could you raise to invite further investigation?

Turning to those vulnerable to routine MRIs, what factors might make young people particularly at risk for gadolinium retention compared to older adults?

Think about physiological differences—such as a more active glymphatic system in youth or differences in kidney function—that might influence how gadolinium is processed or retained. How might repeated exposures from sports-related scans or tumor monitoring amplify this risk over decades, and what preventive steps might they consider asking their doctors about?

Now, how might your blog post empower these young individuals to advocate for themselves during medical consultations?

Consider framing your story to encourage questions like, “Can we minimize contrast use?” or “What are the long-term risks of gadolinium retention?” How could sharing your lack of informed consent or the variety of GBCAs you’ve received (e.g., Dotarem, Magnevist) inspire them to seek clearer communication from their healthcare providers, especially given your doctors’ current stance?

Finally, what message of hope or action can you offer to balance the caution in your story, ensuring it motivates rather than alarms?

Reflect on how your resilience with MS, or your decision to share this with groups like the American College of Radiology, could inspire young people to stay informed and proactive. What resources—such as guidelines from the FDA or patient advocacy groups—might you point them toward to support their health decisions?

As you prepare your post for tomorrow morning, think about what resonates most with this younger audience. What one piece of advice from your experience do you think could make the biggest difference for them, and why? I’m here to help you refine your thoughts further if you’d like.

Monday, August 12, 2013

There, There, All Better

Really thinking about Mom all day.
Sunday was my day to call her (the past 30 years) or go visit when I lived near them and once I moved out for about the third time.
Intended to continue my interview with a clone series but too tired.
We processed 2 grain sacks of wonderful fresh sweet corn,
mowed the lawn, yada, yada.
So stumbled onto this little piece I did about working in the ICU.
Yes you can and do get attached, some people shock you,
some worse than others.
I worked in ICU 8 years after 10 years med/surg, neuro/neurourg, ent, eye, you name it.
After awhile you develop some thickness to your skin or you and the patient would never survive.
But once in awhile, that moment, often the young ones, would pierce your heart and you would lose it.
And it was OK.

For mom....................................................................................................................................

There, There, All Better

By Mary E. Gerdt

2013 all rights reserved

It hurt.

I hurt.

I had to watch a man die while his family felt a part of them leave. Permanently.

It would have helped if I hated them, if I found some way to despise them and feel they had it coming. But it wasn’t that way at all. I loved them. I only knew them a day and yet I loved them.

They did not deserve this, he did not deserve to die. And that’s when I hurt so bad I started to cry.

I fled the sad room full of now empty wires and sobbing people and one dead man.

I went into the bathroom, turned the water on and sobbed. I did not cry that much when Katie died. So why now?

I needed a vacation, to go somewhere pleasant, by the ocean, in the sun, without all this. I needed to eat and buy useless trinkets with plastic cards, escape.

But here I sat in this frozen place. A sobbing mess of a human with a corpse for a patient and a family I loved who needed me. I filled the sink with cold water and plunged my head in. I blew bubbles and laughed like an infant. Come up for air. “There, There. All better.” I heard my lost mother’s voice.

Now make yourself go out and face them, face the questions, all “Why?”, “What do we do now”, “He isn’t really dead, is he?”.

I hear the responses coming from my mouth as if I and my mouth are separate. “Things happen” (How lame!),

“Make funeral arrangements.” (It will give you something to take your mind off what just happened.)

“Be strong.”, “He is dead”, “ He is gone now.”

“He is not coming back.” (denial a powerful force).

“You must go now.” “Drive safely.” (What if they have a wreck?)

“Would you like some valium?” (no really, never did that but have suggested they call their own doc to get valium.).

“Go home and have a drink. Call a priest. Call your mother, Call God, ask Him Why?”

My inner voice saying, “There, there, all better.”



 

 
 

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Psalm Challenge...150...the final

The final Psalm...

Psalm 150

Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition (DRA)

150 Praise ye the Lord in his holy places: praise ye him in the firmament of his power.
Praise ye him for his mighty acts: praise ye him according to the multitude of his greatness.
Praise him with sound of trumpet: praise him with psaltery and harp.
Praise him with timbrel and choir: praise him with strings and organs.
Praise him on high sounding cymbals: praise him on cymbals of joy: let every spirit praise the Lord. Alleluia.
Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition (DRA)by Public Domain


My notes: I joined the Psalm Challenge started by a German blogger who lives in Greece.
I read the entries, week after week.
From Israel, Canada, all over.
So midway I started studying each psalm.
Then I added my comments,
correlated,
never knew there were so many versions.
never knew bibles may have copyrights ? huh?
I became the only one after awhile which turned into my journey
the Psalms say so much about life,
Hardships, trials, despair, faith, triumph,
Finding the light
In the dark.

I heard this song yesterday on the radio live from NYC via wifi/dsl
44 years after Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated,
and Sam Moore was singing his heart out
for a lost friend.
I wanted to see the video
and found it.

All last night and today I was fighting the html
finally able to post this yt link,
I liked when Rosanne Cash said her father read the Psalms.
Psalms, songs, music, lyrics,
harps,
angels,
voices
faith
praise,
hope,
love.



Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Maple Sugaring NW Monkton, Vermont

Maple Sugaring Photos.
I had a tall glass of sap tonight afraid at first but after awhile I got the hang of it. Rich in micronutrients I cannot pronounce and many cannot comprehend. That is the beauty of nature after all, it makes it looks so easy.
Sweet dreams!
A quart of maple sap. It takes 40 gallons of this to make a gallon of maple syrup

North on Roscoe Rd, NW Monkton, Vermont. Buckets hanging on the maple trees.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Thursday Gaz round up...

After awhile,

I can only ignore just so many stop the pipeline updates.
Being a citizen #Fracktivist
takes more than a high speed modem, a google account and 
a stupid rant.
After hearing the blowhard biased Journalismus,
Have been repressing
rage
irritation
hostile anger
mild hostility
mere annoyance,
demand for censorship/equal time.
oh, what difference does it make, anyway?
note to self: let go of petty haters, people who put others down.

Just wanted to get that out of the way early on. 
You know, if I ever affect how someone feels about an issue,
or clarify something, or share an emotion, music, art, a story,
then my work is done. I am not out to make a living at any of this.
That is not why I blog.
I blog because it connects people, it logs my thoughts,
it shares my views, literally and figuratively,
it is living history, the kind I wish I had when My grandparents were young.
It is a shelf of stories, short enough to enjoy and move on,
knowing a little more each time it is read or viewed.

So, for what it is worth in my amateur world of reporting, for free, unemcumbered by conflict of interest save
saving the planet and our water, lakes, streams.

First a link to seven days, the local paper:

Next, a piece from public radio:


From Burlington Free Press:


Rutland Herald:



Too tired to keep going...
Ending with a witty quote attributed to Canadian owned Vermont Gaz rep:


Best quote from VGS so far: “We’d be laying the proposed pipeline just right of this road…actually right where you see all of those ‘stop the fracked gas pipeline’ signs.”








Friday, December 2, 2011

For Don I

For Don I

40 years on the Radio today.
Once we tuned him in,
He was the one.


The local stations
OK
and still,
after awhile,
just not
Real
enough.

It started by flipping through the channels,
before computers, was it mid 80's? or later?
when Burlington coughed up the dough
for this expensive
but
sinful
show.

Our neighbors,
from New Jersey
grew up listening to
the I Man.
We thought we had found someone new.
Perhaps we had.
He had quit the bad stuff by then.

And his cohorts, the characters and skits,
played out on the airwaves for our morning commute,
changing plans, or driving slower,
when a good one comes along.

And his family, oh so special,
and what they do for children, vets
and others who have not.

Greening the Earth with
simple recipes
and giving proceeds
all away.

His love of animals,
of Southwest vistas,
Photography, Writing,
Reviewing books.

Interviews others,
Famous people,
Sometimes fearing
this heavy dude.

Shooting Straight,
He is
Rough and Tumble,
Sometimes Humble,
Sometimes sad.

We need the humor,
sarcastic comments,
laughing,
music,
news
that makes us mad :)

We like to hear
about the
NY scene, music, authors, cool people,
and
from all those
people, brave and all you who suffered,
who lived through
911.

Thanks for rising early mornings,
Keeping us laughing, well informed,
music playing, friendly banter,

You are a Special Daring Number One Cowboy!








p.s.

When he was off the air,
we
pouted, grumpy, depressed,
angry, sympathetic,
thinking and saying,

"How can we possibly start our day right sans the I man?"

check him out at imus.com












Sunday, May 26, 2013

Time for kids to Rise up and Embrace Space!




Ok kids, put down your I-pad,,, you know,,,,you just had to have it.

After awhile, same old boring,

but space is out there,

new,
fresh
exciting,

ready to be explored.
you, kids, from 3 to 18 and up,

have a chance.


Monday, November 16, 2009

The No Film Festival

The No Film Festival
by mary e. gerdt. monkton vermont


"the trials of the world are all heaven's pearls" Electric Dirt Levon Helm Band

Angels were singing last night in Woodstock and they brought us a gift for having a hard year
and recent stress. My vision of heaven is Levon Helm's Midnight Ramble.
We were blessed to have tickets and yes that is a religious statement.
Because Levon's church is a healing place. We pray for Levon's healing and for his beloved soulmate Sandy, Amy and family and friends/staff. After paying the taxes on the farm
we realized there is more to life than death and taxes which are certain, however we do
control our destiny. Saturday morning Fred asked me to a special ramble like he said 25 years ago after I told him to.Yes was all I could say then and now.
We were more than pleasantly surprised again at the professional caring staff, the relaxed atmosphere, the musicians extraordinaire.
There was a band at the beginning who I enjoyed but I don't have their name. Wonderful sound.
Then proceeded the following fabulous bands filled with joy of music and dedication to a grueling, demanding rewarding lifestyle. Look them up. They are great!
Guy Forsyth. Part magician, part carnival barker, all musician and director of a tight group. He enthusiastically shares the stage with Carolyn Wonderland with her extreme vocal ranges, mastery of amazing guitar licks eerily reminiscent of Janis Joplin and Stevie Ray Vaughn. She seemed surprised at the audiences roars. Janis and SRV are back I marvelled. And so music goes. The techniques and styles handed off so that it may never be lost.
Waylon Payne has a touching voice and natural skill at playing. Hubert Sumlin showed us his masterful sweet style and those beautiful notes and humor.
Kris Kristofferson entered the room and we had already been saturated with seriously fine music.
He shared his life of music and allowed us to see how his simple complex melodies shaped us.
We saw he and his wife communicating silently as couples do, and share a moment like a song he wrote for his children. I got teary. That song will outlive us all and we are truly honored we saw the unplugged Kris Kristofferson.
Last but certainly not least is the man who brought the southern rambles to the New York scene. He fused all the genres he immersed himself in. Most of all to us, he allowed us to have a glimpse at his barn of memories.
I have trouble remembering all the songs and sets. I have no trouble remembering the feeling when that talented man with a cape began to walk through the crowd and the cheers started on one end of the barn and went clear through. The roar was therapeutic. We knew what was coming. We had seen and heard Levon before, and we knew we would never be the same.
Levon and Amy Helm, Theresa Williams and Larry Campbell and all the rest of the band who are each a master and together a heaven's choir. Levon voice comes through again in his looks, glances. mouthing words and his feeling on the drums. We bought awhile ago the 2 DVD set available at levonhelm.com.
On one DVD, Little Sammy sang because Levon could not sing-doctor's orders. The second was Levon singing again. They both show equal superior clean raw talent.
Is it my imagination that he beats those drums with even more expression when denied voice? It feels that way. I saw the drumsticks quiver above the skins and his hands seemed still. Voice or not, He is always a joy to watch and listen to and the rest of the band complements each other in perfect synergy.
Thanks Levon, you are a great human being.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Magical Middlebury

middlebury is a magical place,

full of energies,
River, Commerce, Commodities,
Travel hub for the Western side of Vermont,
home of middlebury college.
i got to work in the town for a few years,
you feel the granite, slate, the bricks, 
you smell the money.
The money smells clean, fresh,
smart people,
successful people,
wealthy people go to school here.
Ski, hockey, the Arts.
So it was shocking to me that the college would be so pro-Canadian gas pipeline.
You know, the one I rant about the land agents threatened elders and poor farmers
to gut/ no, to Gore their property for public good.
anyhow,
because the college is home to so many gifted students...the top of the top,
you know that leads many to a life of illumination,
imagination,
free reign, no brakes, full on satire...
The kind I loved in the 1970's with the Harvard Lampoon.
Those days were over,
or were they?
After our fracking fighting weary copatriots got and email this morning,
WTF was being heard shouted through the valley.
one after another logged on to dial up or satellite or some other way,
and opened this...

by Magical Middlebury College studentia...
Ah, to be young again.
<3 nbsp="">

So,
As I tried to post the
Wtf article
Was it a spoof?
Satire?
Well, adobe didn't make it easy
And Maybe they don't want me posting the best bit of humor
I have read in awhile.
I tried to find a link at their plaid & felt website.
And failed.

So trust me, it's funny.
I feel compelled to at least say something.

Still laughing
Or
Crying,
Later.





Thursday, July 19, 2012

Break in the heat

A cold front crashed in yesterday PM and wiped away the icky hot weather we really do not like. Still after VA, summer will not feel hot again for awhile up here. Like Fred said, the Sun is not as intense "up" here in VT.
The plants and weeds are in stiff competition and the rain we got perked everbody up that did not get beaten down (minor damage).
As we know the next thing after a good rain is the bugs hatch.
The swallows' first brood are on the lines and second brood cooking. Soon they will all fly far away.
I believe they are bigger and more plentiful because there are so few bats.
The locust trees never blossomed. We have no apples, pears this year.
We are watching the garden grow and also enjoying the break in the heat.


Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Remyelination Is it Possible?

 Once in awhile I see a title and have to stop what I’m doing and comment.  

https://multiple-sclerosis-research.org/2021/02/remyelination-why-have-we-failed/?unapproved=105162&moderation-hash=790d8c9ea0d77c0065d4c4481a127985#comment-105162

It wasn’t a surprise, remyelination failure by humans.

I always feel the same reading any research on Multiple Sclerosis. Me, Once a Neuro Nurse, eager to help my patients get through high dose steroids after an exacerbation. MS 1980-ish.

No DMT’s. None, Not a one. 

Here come Mrs. Jones again....she can’t walk now.

Admit 5 days then to nursing home for rehab, she can’t handle much therapy.

Today, I got my old school Copaxone shot out to warm up. Often I think of Dr. Panitch who I grew to love for his love of beating the MonSter. He invited me to the CombiRx study when diagnosed in 2007. I was randomized to Copaxone only arm but had flu like symptoms with the weekly placebo Avonex shots. The mind Is powerful. I do think Copaxone offers the Proteins needed to bathe my nerves in soothing broth. The give and take, yin/yang, Flowing. Nothing is static. 

I think remyelination is Healing the Sheath.

Healing over scarred patches like a scab on a wound. Protective. Keeps rawness from spreading while the organism gets better, stronger.

Forget all your fancy mouse 🐁 drugs.

Think Vitamin needs, food for healing nerves.

How to remove toxins?

Prevention is key.

One element is to look at toxins the patient is exposed to.

Particularly Gadolinium. I believe it may do more harm than good.

Do little pieces of Gad do damage to the scarred places that light up on MRI?

Lastly, I recently started PT for my flat feet.

I am truly amazed at what foot exercises are doing for my balance, walking, knee pain.

Maybe this time I’ll keep doing her exercises after I’m done.

Thanks for listening 😎



Monday, May 20, 2024

Pain

 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

archives of monkton chronicles 2014

Monkton Chronicles,
End of June 2014
I know, I know,
sometimes we chroniclers write just because we have a deadline.
In this case, an imaginary deadline, for an imaginary newspaper with one writer, one town, and no dough. I mean the green dough, gluten free: greenbacks, Benjamin Franklins, Buckazoids, cashola, currency. The newspapers that print on dead or murdered trees get paid by advertisers, an obvious fact to me but sadly not to many others. The newspapers may slant or lean news towards their advertisers. Still we are all subject to the veiled messages, the subliminal suggestions, the pressures of society, our bigger dysfunctional family. Well, it is both functional And dysfunctional. Yin and Yang....
Had wanted to write more often and decided I would write what I can, what comes up, what and when it seems relevant to me. This is my travelogue, where typos are sometimes left, grammar is freestyle turn of the second millennial midwestern to vermont transplant, and i struggle with daily pain, fatigue and the frustrations of paperwork, frustrations, bureaucratic crapola that comes with disability. it was so easy when i did it for someone else. have a good rest of summer...so far cold one in monkton, vermont. we are at a crossroads in our fight to stop the proposed canadian->NY pipeline someone thought worth taking people's hard won property for. not too late to jump into the fray. Q: how do you argue with a corps of engineers? A: don't bother, you will just waste your breath
Q: how do you argue with a corps of engineers? A: you'll never go anywhere, fool, you were not listening to me....
there...june 2014 in a nutshell
meg
End of May 2014
Struggling against the tide of paperwork to claim I am disabled when all I can do is the essential paperwork du jour dictating to me what do I need to do today? Working out the system in my head, as I sit and ponder this bureaucratic daytime nightmare, I am reminded of that blank stare as I would ask clients, did you fill out the form? I am reminded of the impressive stacks of befuddling papers, notices, warnings, messages that suck your energy. Do the dishes? Sorry, not today. Been stuck in an energy suck all day. It's likes a tornado only it sucks, it doesn't blow. Pipeline battle all radical now. Or so the pay media would have you think. Such uncivil tone! screams the editor of the Addy Indy, the local feel good rag for the college people to see the Idyllic county their kids live, study in and become the future senators, stock brokers, CEO's, Inheritors, Trustees, Skiers, Artists, Authors, Thinkers, Beautiful people.
I can write run on sentences. This is my blog and I can Whinge if I want to ;<{
It does a body good to spill one's guts. If you don't want to read this, please press the "X" at the top right corner of the screen.
I wasn't even sure if I could write an update for the end of May 2014. I felt like we got robbed of usable sunshine. Sunny days were too cold and windy out, then rainy and cloudy. Nights still 40's-chilly. Fred looking for wood pellets to burn.
Meanwhile nothing can rob me of the healing memories of being at Levon Helm's barn last Saturday night. Fred took care of me, pampering me all week so I could have the energy to attend the bar b que and concert...I made it. Even as I stood longer than I have in 6 months, I felt Levon's presence, I felt the Catskill stone under my feet, like it was under his feet, grounding him, like a magnet holding his feet to the ground, like it was holding me. I decided to resist posting any anti pipeline stuff until June 1st. I decided in honor of Levon and all those who played with him, and family, friends, fans, I would only focus on music this week. Music, that vibration, that mathematical vibration that gives us pleasure, takes us to times in our lives. Like the first time I was in the Catskills, Judy and I were in her plymouth Fury, visiting her friends. In the tape deck played Stage Fright, The Great Divide....Many of the songs played by The Weight last Saturday night....Google took us careening over a mountain trail to get from Tannersville where we were staying to levon's. I have some photos-working on sorting those into a movie. We had some adventures for sure. I decided not to spoil my week of music posting for those fracking bullies. But when I post an update...there will be a lot I have stored from taking a week off. We love Levon and his people...Have never had a more lovely night than a night at the Midnight Ramble...Levon's Healing barn of wood.
meg
Early to Mid May 2014
Updates, Tragedy & Ecstasy. Feeling so behined on reporting. In my mind, being an official world gateway to Monkton, VT, or at least trying to tell the world what is going on here.
Emerging from a crab like crustacean state induced by a hellacious winter past, bone crushing fatigue of MS et al and overwhelmed at the f'ing mountains de Paperwork I have had to process, Fred pulling up the slack. Me still in denial from time to time that I am disabled alternating with panic that I am done fer. Looking for a happy medium.
Oh the local government is posting minutes albeit still with the nebulous language, still local government people want a pipeline to go through wetlands, now want trails in wetlands and said no to digging rocks. The town sues some people, says yes to some, no to others, takes and or tries to take peoples' property using unconstitutional methods. We were near victims after 9 months late paying taxes. Now puzzled the State is raising property taxes and yet has no input into tax sales. God help us all. We cannot afford this anymore. Looking for the sunshine in the shadows....Music, Art, Beauty of spring slowly emerging. Fresh air, sunshine on my face. Breathe...more later.

Mid April 2014
After tax day, the images in my drawings had chains, hasps, locks, a woman petting a rat in prison. We paid $500. How is it that I have not earned a penny in months and have paid, paid taxes, robbing savings. We are run down from a bastardly winter, finally getting a few doses of life giving sunshine, warmth cannot be far behind...So the problem with taxes is that there is a breaking point with the little people. I hope we are near. Prices in the stores are hurtful to all. Money just not going as far. Beyond that, everything is wonderful in the land of maple sap. We are on the healing side of winter, the air smells better. Finally I got out the record player Fred got me for my birthday. Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan, Glenn Miller the first to spin...sounds better than the old days...what was it?



Early April 2014

The sun is encouraging me, coaxing me to the window,
higher in the sky and brighter. Watching for the solar flares, a big one was followed by the earthquake in Chile, also a breakthrough in the weather, warming up a little after enduring a downright brutally cold this past winter. It was nice to see the maple trees tapped, the snow melting, the ice going out. The taxes finally done, a bitter tedious pile of papers which seem to have no real relevance. Except write another check.
We are still fighting the pipeline and I can only pay attention certain days of the week. Otherwise I would not be able to survive. Fred got me the Beth Hart/Joe Bonamassa live from Amsterdam which is Incredibly Great! Wow... Also a record player which I will get out of the box. No I am not 18 anymore or I would have done all this already. In my good time. Decided I would listen to my best of Janis Joplin first. Been awhile since I have had a record player...
All for now.



Early March 2014

In spite of my personal inability most days to even get out of the house, the collective voters spoke loudly, clearly, against the proposed Gaz Pipeline. Time is a great moderator. The Gaz people trying to cram the pipeline down people's throats. "Threatening elders, women landowners with using eminent domain". Our elders, having better sense than the selectboard, stuck up for their property rights. We do have those in Monkton, Vermont, USA.
I will post some more links but frankly am fracking weary and ptsd from all the press you have to push to get anyone to notice.
On the home front, burning wood, pellets, furniture is next.
The daylight is welcome when it shows up.
It has been bitter cold. Like the first winter I was here.
Only not as much snow down here in the Champlain valley.
Jupiter was profoundly beautiful one morning at 4:30 when I couldn't sleep. She sparkled. It was 10 below f. and dead calm.
Hope you are having a good March. For us in like a lion. I posted a crappy YT link of I found the lions. Tech is a pain sometimes..will find the one I was looking for....meg


Mid February 2014
Hard to keep up with just living, let alone come up with profound messages all the time. Sometimes, drifting off to sleep, I desperately slap up some random pics or words that drift onto the keyboard. I have to admit I schedule certain posts. It might be equivalent to lip-Syncing, but for me it is a tool. We are fighting the pipeline from Alberta to NY via Vermont and our neighbors' garden. Our tools are words.
Been very cold here and we got a good bit of snow. Hopefully warming a little and sun higher in the sky. Keep warm!


Late January 2014
Been trying to keep up. The temperature keeps going down, stressing us all so by this time of the winter, precious little is left in reserve.
I wrote this once and it got hopelessly bound in blogger limbo, mismatched versions of software, ancient 3 year old computer and possibly it just was not meant to be.
We are overwhelmed at the prices of fuel, food, goods. We know there are plenty of us boomers transiting into mid-late middle ages. Like a renaissance, we must be willing to be the system we think must wrap around us. More on this later.
We are stretched thin, worn down, overloaded. We are weary at the fracking gaz fights. Some positive moves, some steps backwards. Making one thing crytal clear to me. Somebody is getting paid to grease these skids...well i am no columbo, but often the perpetrator is right under your nose.

Mid January 2014

We are in the middle of a January thaw, in the 40's, raining, deceptively imitating a spring thaw. We know we could go straight back down to 20 below again in a heartbeat. That is the North country. Am somewhat relieved to have 2013 behind us, even though there is nothing specific, except that cursed number 13. In my study of the Knights Templar, 13 could be traced back to a date when Knights were eliminated by slaughter. Burning at the stake sounds particularly torturous. Trying to keep up with the so called news and then I read some Aristotle. Some things seem to never change. Saw a photo of a recreated neanderthal man. Ponderous, would be the caption.

The pipeline fight is forging on. Now with Neil Young on the other end up in Alberta...I am reminded every day of the limitations that MS places on my life. Wondering how these fights all seem to mirror one another. Reminded of the

Line of the minuteman, April 19, 1775.

Stand your Ground

Don't fire unless Fired upon

But if they mean to have a War,

Let it begin here.

Captain Parker.


archives:



Late December, 2013



Nearing the end of year 2013.



Christmas, or whatever you call the short days...



Is over.



Thankfully the daylight hours gaining again for those of us inhabiting the Northern hemisphere of the planet.



We lost a good friend Lisa, who warmed my heart with her special soul. She adopted a cat from us who is now called Girly Girl. Girly's first name was Whitney. Lisa wanted a kitten. These were our Y 2K Kitten boom litter explosion where we contacted Green Mountain Animal defenders and they helped us trap, neuter and adopt over 20 cats/kittens. I thought for sure Captain would be Lisa's type. He was friendly and jovial. Well...it did not work. Captain freaked out and would not go near Lisa. So we settled on sweet little petite Whitney. Lisa adopted her, named her Meredian, and took care of her for many years. (Captain was furious, as it turned out, she was his kitten and I do not think he ever forgave us for giving away his sister). Recently Lisa asked if I could bring her back to our pride. Absolutely, of course. And we met one night and I took Meredian home and named her again, Girly Girl, aka Missy. No longer Whitney, Her Meredian chapter done. She was reborn again. Captain had died not long before this so he just missed her homecoming. I still think he sent for her.



So the day I heard Lisa left the material plane, Girly and I sat together a lot. I was relieved Lisa sent her back to be with us, where she knew the scents, the lay of the land, and us.



Now I am home more, I see the value in having a Girl cat boss me, tell me to get up, feed her, keep up my routine. She even likes to tweet with me. Thanks, Lisa, The best social worker, hippest, nicest, animal lover, sensitive, cool hipster. So cute, sweet, with that dark sense of humor only possible by where you have been. Your fears? I never saw any, we all have them. I hope yours were kept to a minimum. Did I intend to write this update about Lisa? Well, not really. Now that I have, however, it seems appropriate to ask you, wherever you are on the planet or off the planet, to raise a glass for Lisa today. It is the thought that counts, send a message for her to carry on with her extraordinary love light, and tell her Girly & I send our love, meg 12.30.13



Archives:







Early December 2013







Feeling the cold go through our house some days. Fuel untouchable anymore. Sick about the taxes we shelled out over 6K and the roof leaks, house is old as ever, land lays fallow like my muscles and nerves. I have become a non profit with no 501k. Feel sorry for others worse off than we are.







Fighting the Pipeline, Fracking, MS, Deja Vu.







Our bodies regenerate every 7 years. By my math I am due for a snakeskin shedding...soon to turn 56. Some numbers surprise you when you break them down. My inactivity stimulates my thoughts. How nerve damage, even in that quieter RRMS, causes a scenario where you must think harder, to get around the scarred places, to circumvent the damaged battlegrounds of my immune system against my own neuro system. Calling it...around the mulberry bush...that fairy tale about girls in prison...weird really...this is the way we wash our hair, wash our hair...My odd imagination imagining girls in jail, being smacked around, brain injured, now compliant, spirits broken...this is the way we wash the floors...







So I was making a connection with the fairy tale, another silly way to address a serious injustice. I love fairy tales. Working on a drawing of this one. meg 12.6.13























Archives...still relevant as long as we fight the pipeline extension into Addison county...today I compressed them into a file called monkton chronicle archives