153

We rarely hear the inward music, but we're all dancing to it nevertheless. - Rumi

Ledges

153

In Junior high school  <>

and somewhat beyond,

2 years better put into a state of suspended animation or amnesic void,

I tried out for chorus,

excited at this new huge school,

full of enthusiasm,

ready to become the next Julie Andrews, Barbra Streisand,

Carole King,

Peter, Paul & Mary,

Janis Joplin,

Mostly anyone but me.

Mom and Dad had a stack of records, as did my siblings,

It was the 60's.

We screamed music all summer to the stereo,

anywhere.

 There were 153 people trying out.

 Funny I still remember that number, 

like it is seared somewhere in my brain...

They could take 150.

Really.

150,

another number seared.

As I approached looking at the last Psalm, 

150,

the number yanked me like a painful string.

ouch.

When the names went up for who got in, 

could you imagine how long were the faces of the 3 who failed?

Wonder if the other 2 girls ever forgot.

The next year, I tried out again.

Admittedly I had no training, no concept of keys, tuning.

I played tuba in the Bass clef,

repetitive,

which confused me too.

Our grade school autoharp was out of tune.

But I tried.

The music teacher had me sing a song. 

She then stopped, looked up and said,

"Where were you last year?"...

That is where I am pretty sure my head spun straight around,

I did a princess turn,

and walked right out the door,

never to return.

Years later, an ember still burns for her,

that misguided teacher.

How could you have even heard 3 people?

Give them a tambourine...

a flag,

a chance.

So when Sister Rosetta Tharpe sings to

"Sing, because you are so happy,

Sing because you are so free, yes indeed...",

I think,

Freedom has its price.

And yet that doesn't keep me from singing.

We are free.