and other friends we lost in the 1970 somethings.
This is my 500th post, a milestone I never thought I would be at.
A funny evolution from
At first, what is a blogger?
Then, why am I a blogger?
Then I am a blogger.
Some of my inspiration and vision from an old Jerry Garcia
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
I was here many years before I could really answer the question,
"why did you come to Vermont?"
It was easy to lie about.
Finding out people ask questions sometimes not really
how you answer.
Eventually, I started to say,
"my roommate said to come to Vermont."
Later, much later,
with an acceptance I thought never possible,
"and she was killed in a car accident."
I never processed that Suzie was with her.
It was too much to lose in one night, a night I was supposed to be out with them,
I knew Katie's Mom first. She was our school nurse in grade school. She would let me
lay on "the cot" when I got these overwhelming headaches. Sick headaches.
Her gentle voice. Her kind looks. Her confidentiality, a safe harbor.
Katie and I became roommates after I began working as a nurse at
a local hospital. New grad nurse. Katie was an LPN, worked in a nursing home and got burned out,
at a young age (we thought we were old). She took care of private duty people
and worked at the bar.
Suzie was someone I can only remember laughing, a very cute laugh, a joy.
Suzie was so special, and such a secret. I knew her sister better who I had the opportunity to hug this year at the Wildey Theater, what a gift.
The funerals were on the same day. I could not attend Suzie's. It helped in the short run but
Katie's mom called the morning after.
Katie and Suzie tried to get me to call in. Friday night. I just could not.
Nobody to take my place. I went to work.
They went out.
I never knew where they were going after the bar.
Katie's mom said, "oh my God, no one called you?"
and I felt bad for her as she had to tell me, the little girl on the cot,
that her daughter was gone.
I paced and denied and wondered what to do next.
Within a month I had packed up and made plans to go to Vermont,
a place I had barely heard of in the midwest.
The mountains, "Burlington" was what Katie raved about.
I wanted for us to move there.
I even got license in Vermont.
But Katie kept saying, next year.
Katie sent me here 30 years ago,
and I had no choice but to accept she and Suzie
like other friends I had lost,
seeming too many,
Suzie, her sweet smile a memory,
a loss, of all she might have been,
all they might have been.
This 500th milestone post is for them.