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Monday, January 12, 2009

Donna's Mom

Hazel and Dad,
Thanks to my Dear alte freunde Donna,
And her telling me of her Ma’s passing.
Like a Mom and Dad they were to me, Hazel and her husband,“Dad”. My frozen brain cannot recall his first name although it may come to me spontaneously later. Don?
Hazel and Dad bought the house where My Mom’s OB doctor was murdered while I (and certainly Donna) were in utero. My uncle thought of buying this discounted lovely home and yard and Dad and Hazel bought it and raised their family.
So early on, Donna and I have been connected and her Mom and I were equally a part. Her nurturing stay at home Mom attitude. Not June Cleaver mind you. She took no cr*p. She was always quite plain and to the point. Straight as an arrow.
My constant memories of her sitting on the kitchen stool smoking in long contemplative waves and taking it all in.
Just when you thought she had drifted off, she came back with a shot to set you straight. Even in silence, powerful often reserved woman.
Dad has been gone awhile but I loved them both like my parents. It kind of hit me that I have neglected visiting her on home visits but it has been harder for me to connect with others anyway and this is my tribute to Donna’s parents to me a great pair of humans and foundation for children and ancestors with great values.
One word about Dad.
When he had a heart attack Donna and I went to see him.
I was fascinated by the hospital and the technology although crude at the time.
Children under 16 used to be banned from visiting. So when we got old enough to visit it was a sudden shock. Dad looked so old and feeble all of the sudden. Now I know it was a big one. He started to cry. This man who was always larger than life. Sometimes I think that made me want to be a nurse. To comfort the man who is struck down by disease. Powerful one minute and weakling the next, ashamed because of culture. Donna and I held his hand I think. I hope we did. It was a hard moment.
But he recovered and had some good life and I loved his sharp southern language and brilliant curse word combos. I still think about how he worked for Ford and drove those big cars and would have something to say about their current woes.
So let me raise a glass to Donna’s parents and wish their entire family peace and am grateful for Mom having had such a long and graceful run.
Mary

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